When negative feelings become unbearable
Most couples recognise when their relationship has moved beyond the usual ups and downs and is more often down, when negative feelings start to become unbearable, or feelings of hopelessness or helplessness arise.
Things no longer seem the same between you, e.g. there's less affection, less physical contact, a coldness or greater irritability
You are experiencing unfamiliar feelings of confusion, uncertainty or suspicion in a relationship
When one or both of you notice something has been lost from your relationship
If you feel helpless or even desperate about how to deal with these difficulties, even when perhaps you are not quite sure what they are, this is the time to look for couple counselling
However long this has been going on, couple counselling can help